Making a Mess

My kids dumped all of our spices into a bowl.

Who knows really how much money got artfully poured into that swirling mix of brown. A touch of fennel, a splash of balsamic.  Vitamins and garlic granules - all blended together with wooden spoons and sticky hands.

They probably giggled and whispered to each other, bonding over their shenanigans. “Oo let’s add some honey!” Until, suddenly, they realized their fun was over.  Scoldings, talks of how much they wasted, none of it changed the fact that there were two crying toddlers surrounded by an array of empty jars, buckets, and bottles.

They were out of thyme.

The best of intentions, to be sure.  Likely they were chatting about how much mama and papa will love this, we are baking for them. It’s going to be a cake! No cookies! Only to find that it was too much, of the wrong ingredients, at the wrong time.  Unsupervised with no permission granted, it all fell apart fast.

I can’t help but draw connections between the day-to-day experiences and the broader strokes of life, in business and in relationships.

Unaware, with a lapse in communication, my husband worked on our property while I worked in the office.  When I closed the door, I had seen him last tying her little shoes, and ushering them both out the door, I was confident that they were all together.  Little did I know, he thought I was in the kitchen, not the office.  So, when they ran back inside, he presumed that they were transferred from his care to mine.

How often do we assume that a transfer of responsibility has taken place? For a task, for a project’s success, for a business’ launch? Whether it be from Executives to Operations, between partners, or from client to service provider?  I’d bet that assumptions are sprinkled throughout our daily lives that match this same strain.

Left in confusion, with no recourse, so often clients and partners are stuck with the consequences.  A big swirling pot of unusable ingredients, blended together - with money wasted.  If there had been permission requested, better communication about the outcome that was desired, clear expectations set… well things would have been different wouldn’t they?  

Instead of being left with something edible, shareable, marketable, they’re left with an expensive and useless mess.  Now, they’ll need to begin again - resupplying their coffers to hopefully find a better chef next time I guess.

I hear these stories often, I wish I didn’t. 

Stories of hired web developers not fulfilling their promises, business owners leaking revenue because of a spend-happy operator, or simply a communication breakdown that left the project in a place of no return.  Scoldings, talks of how much they wasted, none of it changes the fact that sometimes a promise to deliver goes unmet.

So how do we improve? Is all lost?

I think not.

Believing that there’s a path forward, there can not only be reconciliation but a new era of partner-led ventures that forge a new tomorrow.  When you’re in partnership with each other, there is shared responsibility, heightened levels of communication, and hopefully… better results for all.

Instead of a B2C type relation, having a partnership between B2B supports in solidifying that when there’s a mess, it was the two of you who made it together more often than not, with both parties truly motivated to see ultimate success of their joint ventures. 

The question could have been: Why was there no supervision in the kitchen in the first place?

So often business owners, executives and clients are quick to pin blame, and slow to take personal responsibility for their lack of presence in the process.  

Had I been in that kitchen, that brown slop of weirdness could have easily been a collaboratively cooked dinner, or a beautiful cake, ready to be enjoyed by us all.

Instead of coming into a mess, with certain expectations, and now with someone to clearly blame for the empty coffers of hard earned supplies - supplies you had once planned to use to create something special, well… it’s more like you were both there up on that stool mixing in those ingredients together. 

That’s a partnership to me, shared responsibility for the outcome. 

The outcome could be bad, or it could be revolutionary.

Sometimes we dump all our spices into a bowl, but sometimes, we make something extraordinary.

Rebekah Waller