When the Stuff Hits the Fan and Things Don’t Go to Plan

Depending on your personality type, you might be someone who plans your life meticulously—making sure all the t’s are crossed and the i’s are dotted, thinking through every possible scenario. Or maybe you’re the opposite: someone who lives life by the seat of your pants, letting the wind guide your journey and trusting that the universe will be kind.

Either way, you use your cognitive strengths to shape the life you live. You might create a clear, structured path—or a flexible framework that allows for flow and spontaneity.

But what happens when something comes flying at you from left field? When you haven’t considered every outcome?

When it really hits the fan…

The very idea of something colliding with a moving fan blade is oddly fascinating - for me at least!. What happens to the pieces? How far do they fly? Could you ever put it all back together(if you even wanted to?) Life can feel like that sometimes, spinning at speeds that shift from stable and manageable to so fast you’re about to lose control.

Last year, this happened to me and my family. We agreed to something that completely changed our lives, something we hadn’t fully imagined the scope of.

For context, my beautiful wife and I already had four wonderful children, a dog, a new business, and an old house that always needs fixing. And then, at 5 days old, we welcomed our newborn nephew into our home.

The baby part we could handle—the sleepless nights, the nappies, the knowing we’d still have kids in the house until we were 60(ish). What we hadn’t quite anticipated was the extra stuff: the inspections, the meetings with social services, the contact arrangements, and the court proceedings.

If I’m honest, it’s been one of the hardest seasons of my life, at least from a selfish point of view. I questioned my value as a father and my ability to care for this little one. Would I be good enough to be “signed off” by social services?

In my daily life I struggled to keep rhythm and consistency, juggling work, meetings, family commitments, and the need to be fully present. It was a lot. And I’m not writing this for sympathy, because he’s so special that he makes up for all of it—but the reality was unplanned and hard.

A couple of years ago, my eldest son and I went to hear Bear Grylls talk about his life and experiences. My son has always loved Bear’s adventures and stories. That night, Bear was funny, wise, and full of energy. He shared plenty of amazing tales of his wild adventures, but one thing he said really stuck with me.

Whenever he faced a challenge or an unexpected situation, he would repeat this phrase:

“Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.”

What an incredible mantra—and for me, it turned out to be incredibly timely.

The truth is, it takes time and intentional self-investment to really live this quote. You need self-awareness to know how to pivot when life throws a curveball.

We all know the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses—how our bodies and minds react when we face uncertainty or fear. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to understand what causes me to freeze, and how to move forward when things don’t go to plan.

Some of my biggest battles have been with unhelpful internal mantras—questions about my self-worth and capability. To overcome those, I’ve leaned into the practice of Grace, Growth, and Gratitude—my personal way of embodying Bear’s advice.

Grace for myself and my shortcomings has allowed me to grow. Gratitude for difficult moments has transformed how I see them. Gratitude doesn’t make the hard stuff disappear—it gives it purpose. It reframes chaos into meaning.

When I reflect on this past year, I realise that what first felt like everything hitting the fan was actually life’s invitation to deepen my practice of grace, growth, and gratitude.

Grace reminded me to pause—to breathe when I wanted to shout, to rest when I felt like quitting, to forgive myself for not having it all together. Grace is what stops the spinning fan from becoming a tornado.

Growth came in unexpected ways—not in calm moments, but in the chaos. In the meetings with social services, the 2 a.m. feeds, the tough phone calls, and the silent prayers. Growth asked me to learn patience, humility, and flexibility. It asked me to trust that I’m becoming the kind of man, father, and carer who can rise to the challenge.

Gratitude—the anchor that holds it all together—turned stress into perspective. It helped me see that this little one wasn’t just another responsibility, but a gift. That my family’s willingness to step into the unknown was an act of love. That every day, even the hard ones, was shaping something sacred in us.

When the stuff hits the fan and it will, remember you already have what it takes to improvise, adapt, and overcome. You don’t need to have it all figured out. Just start where you are. Breathe deeply. Trust that within you lies everything you need to weather the storm.

Sometimes the pieces that fly off the fan aren’t meant to be put back together. Sometimes they’re meant to land exactly where they can teach you something new about yourself, about love, and about life’s incredible ability to surprise us.

So when things don’t go to plan, let grace steady you, let growth stretch you, and let gratitude remind you that even in the chaos, there’s beauty.

Because maybe—just maybe—when the stuff hits the fan, it’s actually life’s way of showing you what you’re truly made of

Feeling like life’s hit the fan lately?

If any of this resonates with you, if you’re in a season where things feel uncertain, overwhelming, or just not what you expected - coaching might be the safe space you need to regroup, refocus, and rediscover your balance and priorities.

Through Transformations, Tim and I work with people who want to embrace life’s messiness with more grace, grow through what they’re going through, and find gratitude even in the chaos.

If you’re ready to start your own journey of transformation—or just curious about what coaching could offer you—let’s talk.

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Richard Eynon - Director and Coach

Email - Richard@transformationsltd.com

Telephone no - +447946153470